As for your comments, I can certainly see your point of view. Any kind of major character development is difficult to pull off in a short story, where the main objective, more often than not, is to propel the plot ever onward. Not to make excuses, of course. But in a novel you certainly have more time and space to development the characters, and make their actions more believable.

Thanks for reading the story!

Great work, and congratulations!

My only criticism would be about our ambitagonist’s (if that’s not a word, it should be) moment of revelation just before he releases his sister - I wasn’t expecting that, given that the narrative and dialogue painted him as very self-absorbed - it was a little bit of a stretch for me to assign him this measure of empathy.

Of course, I don’t have the skill or literary adroitness to write so well, so what do I know?

Matt