Klutzy Cousin
Melissa pushed the curtains aside and feigned a friendly wave at her cousin and rival for the proceeds from Grandma’s house and possessions. Melissa hadn’t seen Catherine in years, but it didn’t look like she had changed much. Melissa watched her pay the cabdriver, then trip and nosedive to the pavement. Melissa couldn’t believe her eyes or her good fortune. She was right. Catherine hadn’t changed one bit.
Melissa held the front door open. “Boy, that was some fall you took.”
Catherine shrugged. “I do that a lot.”
Melissa smiled to herself. “I thought we’d go through the attic this afternoon.” It had taken hours to position several heavy objects just right, and she needed to get Catherine up there. “But are you feeling up to it after that fall?”
“Sure. Let’s get it over with,” Catherine said. “I only have the weekend off. I’m training for a new job.”
“A new job. Great.” Melissa couldn’t figure out why anyone would want to get back to work, especially as a circus cashier. The new job was probably head cashier. She’d definitely be better off dead. “Why don’t you put your suitcase in the front bedroom. I’ll meet you upstairs.”
Melissa headed for the crowded, dusty attic and settled in position next to a trunk of dolls. She removed several and examined them. With their porcelain faces, they ought to bring in some cash. She set them away from the projected impact. The next doll looked like a large bundle of rags. Melissa flung it toward a pile of garbage.
“Wait,” Catherine called from the trapdoor. “Let me see.” She edged along the narrow pathway Melissa had prepared earlier.
A few more steps and a yank on the wobbly leg of the desk would topple books, a heavy mirror, and an iron chest on Catherine. Melissa smiled as Catherine moved into the ideal position.
“My old rag doll,” Catherine cooed.
Melissa pushed on the leg and anticipated the chain reaction.
Catherine bent to retrieve the doll. The desk creaked and tilted. Books rained around her. She dropped to the floor in a quick movement. The desk collapsed and the mirror fell, shattering shards at them.
The crash had flung books beyond the area Melissa believed safe. One bounced off her own head, bringing tears to her eyes. They intensified when she saw Catherine safely on the other side of the pileup.
“Are you all right?” Catherine asked, digging a path to her.
Melissa nodded, frowning. Had Catherine somersaulted to safety? No, she must have fallen out of the way. No matter. A whole weekend of opportunities for misfortune lay ahead, and Catherine’s natural clumsiness would help make the final outcome more believable.
Although Melissa’s head pounded, she stayed up later than Catherine to set booby traps in the kitchen and basement. Once in bed, she dreamed of wearing a low-cut black dress to the captain’s dinner on the luxury cruise she planned to take with her inheritance.A loud scream woke her the next morning. That would be klutzy Catherine right on schedule. What a wonderful way to start the day! Melissa waited twenty minutes, pulled back the covers, slid on her slippers, and shuffled to the kitchen.
“Good morning.” An unscathed Catherine sat at the table, a cup of tea and a plateful of toast in front of her.
Melissa scowled at the toaster sitting on the counter next to the stove. Why hadn’t the toaster toasted her? The puddle Melissa had left on the tile was soaking through her own slippers. How had her cousin escaped? She reached toward the toaster.
“Wait. That’s broken,” Catherine said. “Gave me quite a shock. Sorry if I woke you. I made toast in the oven. Have some.” She held out the plate.
Melissa forced a smile. “I’m not a morning person.” What had gone wrong? She yawned and glanced at Catherine’s slippers. Rubber-soled! Good thing she had a backup plan. “We’ll start in the basement after breakfast,” she announced. Soon everything would be hers.
“Do you mind leading?” Melissa asked when she met Catherine in the hallway. “I’m such a baby about spider webs. If one hits my face, I’ll feel itchy all day.”"No problem,” Catherine said. “After cleaning up after the elephants, I’m not squeamish.”
“Elephants? Is that the new job?” It suited her, Melissa thought, trailing Catherine to the cellar door.
“No. I’ve had lots of jobs. I fill in when people take off. That’s how I found out I love to…” Catherine sprung into a handstand, skimming over the steel wire Melissa had stretched across the threshold.
Melissa cursed under her breath as Catherine walked down the stairs on her hands. “Are you crazy? What are you doing?”
Catherine dropped to her feet at the bottom. “I just wanted to show you why I haven’t succumbed to any of the ‘accidents’ you arranged.”
“Accidents? Don’t blame me for Grandma’s sloppy housekeeping. I haven’t—”
“Give me a break. When I stood on my hands, my eyes were inches from that tripwire. I’m not blind or stupid. Besides, a stint in security gave me a feel for when I’m being hustled.”
“You’re a security guard?”
“No, but after that toaster jolted me and I noticed the puddle on the floor, I got suspicious so I checked out the basement. I called the police when I saw the wire.”
The doorbell rang, and Melissa stamped her foot.
Catherine started up the steps. “Dumb. If you’d moved the toaster closer to the sink, I’d have thought nothing of it.”
Melissa sagged against the cellar door. Instead of designer dresses and cruises, she’d be in orange overalls behind bars. “But you’re so clumsy,” Melissa sputtered. “I saw you—”
“You saw what you wanted to see,” Catherine said. “I was only practicing…for my new job as a clown.”